Dating apps are…well, frustrating. Shallow. Draining. Exciting. Ego-driven. Sexual. Fun. Weird. The list goes on.
I don’t like to be too cynical about online dating because, to be fair, it’s how I met the only two boyfriends I’ve ever had. So I know love can be found there. But finding the one on a dating app is very much a needle-in-a-haystack situation.
However, in this day and age, dating apps and social media are a dominant force in connecting with potential romantic partners. Which means you now have to create an online persona that is true to you, but also the most appealing version of yourself.
If you don’t want to do that, then you should consider dating the old-school way: by approaching people in real life. To each their own. But for those who do take part in the digital trenches of romance, you should keep reading.
Creating a dating profile is like putting together a small virtual exhibit of your life, and some people, like myself, are really good at curating them. I know what photos to use and what to say to make a profile feel attractive, interesting, and just mysterious enough to leave matches wanting more. And it’s not easy, especially if you’re not someone who takes photos often. But I’ve helped enough of my friends, both men and women, build profiles that show their best sides.
More often than not, men seem to have a harder time on apps. And although men are shallow, women are… dare I say, even more shallow on dating apps. Of course, we care about more than looks, but on an app, you are being judged in three seconds by a woman lying in bed with one eye open and Love Island playing in the background. It’s up to YOU to make a profile that catches her attention.
So, for the men who feel like their likes are low and their matches are going nowhere, here are a few dos and don’ts of dating profiles that I guarantee will help:
Don’t include too many group photos.
I can appreciate one good group shot. One. It shows you have friends, which is nice. But if I have to play “Where’s Waldo?” just to figure out which man you are, you’ve already lost me.
Also, and I know this is harsh, but don’t post group photos if your friends are hotter than you. I’m just going to be thinking, Wait, who’s the guy next to him? And now your profile has become an ad for another man.
Don’t post photos with women close to your age.
Even if they’re just a friend, co-worker, or cousin. Shit, not even your sister. Don’t post photos with women close to your age. Unless it’s your mom, I do not want to see it.
Most women are not looking at that photo and thinking, Wow, he must be great with women. We’re thinking, Who is she? And once we start asking that, it’s a wrap for you.
Don’t make your ethnicity your entire personality.
If your bio is just flags showing where you’re from, or if you use the prompt “First round is on me if you can guess my ethnicity,” I need you to stop.
Do you really think you’re so exotic that I need to guess where you’re from? We live in New York City, the melting pot of the world. Nothing is exotic here.
It’s fine to be proud of where you’re from. That can be sexy. But there is a difference between culture and gimmick.
And secondly, no matter what, ALL ROUNDS ARE ON YOU.
Don’t make a profile that appeals more to men than to women.
I think some men misunderstand the assignment when it comes to dating apps. A prompt will start with “Together, we could…,” and a man will say: “hike, boulder, play video games, go camping.”